• Clarice Aeby

Be okay with both



Eleven years ago last month my husband of 37 years, finished a 500 mile, weeklong bike ride along with 2,000 other cyclists, tucked into his sleeping bag and woke up in heaven.

He moved to that land of No-More-Tears, and I entered a season of many.

My Mother who had also known the loss of her husband and spent many years as a Hospice volunteer was not afraid of walking closely to those whose hearts were broken. And now it was her own daughter.

Her words set the tone for my grief journey. She gently said, “You’ll be surprised by who comes close now. And you’ll be surprised by who doesn’t. Be okay with both.”

I think of her words now in this Covid season of sadness, challenge and isolation. I’ve been surprised by who has come near and who hasn’t.

I’ve felt disappointment. I have to be honest with myself about that. I realize I haven’t been okay with both.

But today the Lord brought to mind a very familiar truth that transformed my disappointment to gratitude.

“All things work together for good to those

who love the Lord and are called according to His pleasure.”

ROMANS 8:28

And I asked myself the honest, much-needed reflection questions. The ones that demanded I sit still long enough to face the pain and seek the good.

I took the scattered pieces of a puzzle and began putting them together. And in the process I now see how God is shaping a new future for me when the Covid crisis one day ends.

Did the Lord use the people who came near to show me next steps? Not as much. He used the ones who didn’t. So today I have a new appreciation of my Mom’s wise words: “Be okay with both.”


My puzzle pieces are coming together. The “all things” working together that the Lord promises are now on the “good” list of my life experiences.



I see a pathway into my future that I’d have never imagined without the missing puzzle pieces.

Pull up a chair and sit still

Are you feeling disappointed about someone in your life who isn’t showing up for you? Perhaps your own puzzle is missing a piece.

May I encourage you to sit quietly before the Lord and invite Him to show you how He plans to use this piece for your good?

Thanks for sitting still with me today.

Email me your thoughts or pop in to say "hi."  

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“Dare to Be Still" is a women’s ministry of New Hope Eugene in Oregon.

Any woman with a hunger to know Jesus Christ in a deeper way

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